Get Fit For Skiing At Uni

I´m frankly amazed that any students can afford to go skiing, what with student loans and the ever-increasing cost of living. However, there must be some with ample family funds, and no doubt the new student Princess Beatrice won´t be short of an annual skiing trip or two, it seemingly being her family´s favourite kind of holiday. So, for students looking forward to donning their ski wear, here are ten tips to help them get fit.

1: Avoid the temptations of the university bar. Lifting pints does NOT count as exercise.

2: Run to lectures. Most students are usually late anyway, and this will allow you to capitalise on the university´s extraordinary ability to schedule consecutive classes for the opposite side of a very large campus, if not different campuses altogether.

3: Men – join sports clubs. As an added bonus, this will allow you to impress girls with your endurance by running around in shorts, even in cold wet weather.

4: Women – don´t join sports clubs, as most men will think you are about to turn into a Russian shot putter. Instead, join the drama group as a behind-the-scenes assistant, and impress them with your ability to shift heavy scenery and props. This will also serve as useful practise for carrying heavy ski equipment.

5: Be aware that cooking does not consist of microwaving packets. The body requires quality fuel for physical exercise such as skiing. Eat plenty of carbohydrates, and those strange items known as vegetables. They won´t kill you. Honest.

6: If you have classes in a hideous sixties tower block, as I did, pretend that the lift does not exist, and use the stairs (you may start by using the lift to ascend, but by the end of the program I expect you to be happily running up all ten flights of stairs).

7: Sneak into empty lecture theatres, and practise skiing down the steps. Not to be done in chemistry labs.

8: Place your alarm on the top of your wardrobe, and when it goes off at midday, you will have to jump out of bed and stretch to switch it off. Stretching is very good preparation for skiing.

9: Discover that mythical place known as the University Library. Search for the academic tomes that are the size and weight of a desktop computer. Lifting these will help you get fit, and if you actually open the books, you might even LEARN something.

10: Do what your mother said, and clean your room. If it is anything like a typical student room, the amount of physical effort involved in clearing up the takeaway cartons, dirty laundry and beer cans will get you fit in no time. Offer to clear your friends´ rooms as well, and not only will you be super-fit, you´ll probably earn enough to pay for your ski trip.
Happy skiing!